It’s that time for new resolutions. Right? You know, the ones that usually become old in a week and absolutely stale by the end of the month.
“Change,” I hear you say, “change is tough.” And it is.
There is one resolution you can make that will reap tons and tons of rewards.
It’s about practicing change before you must change.
Should be in the curriculum at school starting in middle school. But, it’s not. No one teaches this. Most of us just get into a sticky situation, and change comes at us like a fire snorting dragon.
Once you practice change by taking a risk, you become more confident, more focused, and yes, the next change gets easier.
Here is the practice part of change.
Pick a time to be quiet and plan.
Pick something you want to change.
Make it something that doesn’t make you freeze in place.
Paint the scene, in your mind, of what will happen if you do something differently.
Write it down.
Now you are ready. Take the risk (come on, it’s just a small risk.) And, you only must do it once, not like losing weight that is an everyday affair.
Here are a few examples from some of my clients:
Tom, the perennial under-achiever, would always talk last in business meetings. He finally made the conscious decision to take just one risk, to speak up first and not hold back. Yes, for someone who always had to make sure he didn’t rock the boat, speaking up first was a challenge. Just this small change boosted his confidence and he soon found himself moving from being an avoider to becoming the initiator of discussions.
Connie was constantly over-thinking what she could and should say to her boss when the demands were piling up. Her risk was to move from pleaser to truth teller. She agreed to do this once, just once to see what would happen. Of course, you guessed that when she told her “the Devil Wears Prada” bully boss “No” to a new project and the reasons why their relationship became more relaxed and cooperative.
Tammy was known as the office rebel. Yet, deep inside she was filled with self-doubt. There was always worry that others would think she was just a pain in the butt troublemaker. So, when she made the decision to take that one risk and call a meeting to look at the company issues about diversity, she was, in her words, “numb with fear.” One risk changed her life. She now has colleagues to collaborate with and, as a group, they are working together for positive change.
Now, it’s your turn.
What is one risk you are willing to take? Write it down. Talk to a friend about it. Visualize what can happen once you take that deep breath and then even a mini step will move you towards more ease and joy.
One small risk at a time.
The confidence, energy, focus, motivation , ease and joy you are searching for is right here, right now as you move past the patterns that have kept you stuck.